Every child struggles sometimes, especially in early education centers where they are learning to do all sorts of things for the first time. As a result, it can take young children longer to develop skills we do every day as adults.
But when 8.56% of children are diagnosed with a developmental disability, according to the CDC, how do you know if your child needs more support than they are getting?
You don’t have to figure this out alone. After all, early childhood educators see your child up to three times longer than you do in a single day. Together, you and your child’s teachers can identify where your child is struggling, discover underlying causes, and create lesson plans that support your little one. To break this process down simply, there are three main things you need to know to help your child if they’re struggling in school:
- When to be concerned
- How to work together with your child’s teacher
- When and how to get outside help
As an early learning center with over 65 years of experience, our team of trained educators works with parents who are struggling to create lesson plans that support their little one’s development. Let’s dive into why this is so important to early learning and how you can customize lesson plans with your child’s teachers.
When Do Normal Struggles Become Concerns?
It’s perfectly normal for children to face challenges when learning important skills for the first time. But there’s a fine line between typical struggles and issues that need your attention. If your child starts falling behind the rest of their classmates in academic, behavioral, or emotional development, it’s time to talk to their teacher to figure out what’s going on. But first, you need to know exactly what signs mean it’s time for more intervention:
Academic/Developmental Performance
Even though children under five haven’t entered kindergarten yet, they are still learning in early education centers. Early childhood educators still put together lesson plans and use different learning styles to engage each child.
This way the educators can help teach basic skills your child will need in “big kid” school. Here are some of the most common skills taught by early childhood educators and signs that your child needs more support with learning them:
- Pre-literacy: Child struggles with rhyming, letter-sound association, and remembering the alphabet.
- Early math concepts: Child continues to count out of order, has difficulty sorting by size/color, and doesn’t understand the concepts of “more” and “less” or one to one association.
- Fine motor skills: Child can’t grasp a pencil properly, copy shapes, or use kid-friendly scissors.
Every child will struggle with these skills when they are first learning them, but if your little one still hasn’t quite mastered these abilities by age four, they may not be able to do so without additional assistance.
Behavioral Issues
Young children are learning how to handle big emotions for the first time as well as what communication style works best for them. As a result, it’s normal for children to test boundaries and throw tantrums up to the age of five. This doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong, just that your child hasn’t learned a healthy way to express themselves yet.
However, if the tantrums become frequent despite consistent strategies to stop them, harmful to your child or others, or last beyond age five, it’s time to speak to your child’s teacher. Ask if their teacher has experienced similar issues with your child. If not, what are they doing differently at school that you can try at home?
Rule out common lifestyle causes first. Before assuming something more serious is going on, it’s worth taking a close look at your child’s daily routine. Many behavioral issues in young children aren’t a sign of an underlying condition, but that something in their day-to-day life needs adjustment. For example:
- Poor sleep is strongly linked to behavioral and emotional difficulties in young children.
- Heavy screen use can lead to more unwanted behavior.
- Lack of routine and structure can stress children out and make it harder to regulate their behaviors.
- Hunger, overtiredness, and a lack of stimulation can look like a behavior problem when it’s really a physical need that isn’t being met.
- Big changes at home like a move or new sibling can cause children’s behaviors to change.
- Kids who feel disconnected from their parents may act out just to get their parents’ attention.
Often, adjusting sleep schedules, screen time, or daily structure at home is key to resolving behavioral issues at home.
However, if your child’s teacher is also experiencing frequent, violent outbursts from your child, it may be time to speak to your little one’s doctor. Severe behavioral issues can hinder your child’s ability to learn and be a sign of the following conditions:
A doctor may refer you to a child psychologist or occupational therapist to help your child develop proper behavioral skills using specialized learning styles. Be sure to keep your child’s teacher updated on any diagnoses and recommended therapies. When they have this knowledge, they can adjust teaching and communication styles to better support your child and help them develop the skills they need to attend kindergarten.
Learning Disabilities
Sometimes children are perfectly behaved in early learning centers but still struggle with learning important skills. If this issue is persistent despite different learning styles being applied and parent involvement, this could be a sign of a learning disability.
First, it’s important to note that a learning disability is not a reflection of your child’s intelligence. It simply means that your child’s brain processes information differently than other children. This could manifest as:
- Late talking: No babbling by 9-12 months and no first words by 15-16 months.
- Limited vocabulary: Uses fewer than 10 words by 18 months and no word combinations by 24 months.
- Trouble learning colors/shapes/numbers: Can’t name colors, shapes, or numbers by age three.
- Difficulty with letter-sound association: Doesn’t recognize rhymes or letters by age four.
In cases like these, it’s important to communicate with your child’s teacher to find learning styles that work for your child. If nothing so far has worked, it may be time to have your child see a specialist who can help them develop these skills outside of the classroom. Developmental specialists are trained to help children overcome learning disabilities and can devote their attention to one child versus teachers who do not have the training or the time to focus on one student.
Social-Emotional Concerns
Early learning centers are a great place for children to socialize and develop crucial social and emotional skills. Not only do children learn to work with others by being surrounded by other kids their age, but they also get to observe their teachers and learn from their behavior. If you hear from your teacher that your child is lashing out or refusing to cooperate with others in school, but they do just fine at home, this could be a sign that they are stressed in the outside environment. On the other hand, if your child struggles to make friends in various settings, this could be a sign they have difficulty understanding social cues and need more support.
How Parents and Teachers Can Work Together to Help a Struggling Child
Early childhood educators are here to help your child develop all the skills they need to attend “big kid” school and thrive in the world. If you notice that something isn’t quite right with your little one, don’t be afraid to speak up. Take the time to speak with your child’s teacher as soon as possible and follow these steps to ensure your little one gets the support they need at home and at school:
Set Up Regular Communication
It takes more than just one parent-teacher conference to ensure the adults in your child’s life are on the same page when it comes to their education. Start by scheduling an in-person meeting with your child’s teacher to determine your communication style. This includes the best way to communicate going forward, like through a messaging app, phone calls, or in-person chats. At this point you’ll also want to schedule regular updates and a strong communication rhythm to make sure you and your child’s teacher are always on the same page when it comes to your child’s education.
Lead with Observations, Not Conclusions
It’s rare that the learning challenges you see your child going through are actually the core problem. As noted earlier in this post, behavioral and learning issues can be a symptom of environmental or underlying conditions. Arrive at the parent-teacher meeting ready to discuss everyone’s observations and get to the root cause of your child’s challenges.
When talking to your child’s teacher, try to stick to what you have noticed is going on with your child and avoid jumping to conclusions. For example, instead of saying, “My son isn’t learning from your lessons,” try, “My son is having trouble sounding out simple words.” Examples give teachers a strong idea of what’s going on with your child and keep the conversation collaborative instead of confrontational.
Bring Any Diagnoses from Doctors or Therapists
If your child has been struggling academically or behaviorally for a while, you may have decided to take them to the doctor before speaking with your little one’s teacher. That is perfectly acceptable, just be sure to keep their teacher in the loop.
If your child’s teacher knows your little one was diagnosed with a learning disability, ADHD, or something similar, they can better craft a lesson plan that meets your child’s needs. Keeping your child’s teacher involved like this is also a meaningful gesture of teacher appreciation, since it treats their observations as just as valuable as a specialist’s.
Collaborate on Solutions
It’s not all up to you to find a way to help your child learn, and it’s not all up to your child’s teacher either. You both need to work together to find a learning style that works for your child.
Schedule regular conferences to brainstorm different approaches you both could try. This should start with defining what goals you want your child to reach, such as being able to use scissors by the end of the semester or being able to regulate themselves after a tantrum by summertime. Whatever goal you set, you and your child’s teacher will both need to help your child learn these skills at home and at school.
Additionally, determine your strongest communication style and keep each other posted on your child’s progress. This may mean meeting once a month, sending weekly emails, or communicating via an app every day. When everyone is up to date on how your child is progressing, solutions can be applied more effectively.
When and How to Get Outside Help
Once you and your child’s teacher agree something is worth looking into, the next question is usually, “Now what?” The good news is that a formal support system is already in place for children under six years of age. And the best part is that parents can access it without a diagnosis, referral, or conversation with a pediatrician.
For children under three years old, this process falls under Early Intervention (EI), authorized by Part C of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). All you need to do is keep a record of the challenges your child has been facing. Then, call the Kansas EI program to see if your child qualifies for their services.
Once you consent, your child will be evaluated across five key developmental areas. If they qualify, you and a team of specialists will build an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP), which may include speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, or specialized instruction. These services come at no cost to your family and usually happen right where your child already spends their time: their early learning center.
When a child turns three, EI switches to being managed through the public school system. If your child is evaluated and meets one of IDEA’s 13 disability categories, they may qualify for an Individualized Education Program (IEP).
This is a formal plan for specialized instruction and accommodations, and it is only available starting at age three. None of this replaces the relationship you’re building with your child’s actual teacher though. In fact, the more your teacher and your evaluation team are on the same page, the more consistent your child’s support will be.
Looking for More Ways to Support Your Child’s Learning Style?
Every child has their own strengths and challenges, but if your little one starts falling behind, don’t wait to do something about it. Talk to their teacher and find a learning style that works for your child that can be applied at school and at home. And if you want even more tips on how to support your child’s development at home, sign up for our newsletter to get monthly teaching and parenting advice.
Early Learning Struggles FAQs
Some struggles are a normal part of learning new skills for the first time. They become a concern when your child consistently falls behind their peers, the struggles show up across multiple settings, or they persist despite trying different learning styles at home and school.
Start by observing specific patterns — what your child struggles with, when, and where. Then schedule time to talk with your child’s teacher so you can compare notes and figure out if a change in learning style or communication style could help.
Pay attention to how your child engages with new information. Do they light up during hands-on activities, prefer being read to, or need movement to focus? Sharing these observations with your child’s teacher can help them adjust lesson plans to match your child’s learning style both at home and at school.
Yes, this is common and doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong. Different environments have different expectations, so a child may act out at school but not at home, or vice versa. Talking with your child’s teacher can help you figure out if there’s a specific stressor causing the difference.
Occasional tantrums and boundary testing are normal for children under five. It’s time to talk to your child’s teacher if outbursts become frequent despite consistent strategies, are harmful to your child or others, or continue well past age five.
Every parent and teacher has their own communication style, so it helps to agree early on what works for both of you, whether that’s a quick app message, a phone call, or an in-person conversation. Leading with specific observations rather than conclusions also keeps the conversation collaborative.
Early Intervention (EI) is a free program for children under three who show developmental delays or disabilities. Parents can refer their own child directly, without a doctor’s referral, by contacting their state’s EI program.
An IFSP supports children under three through Early Intervention, while an Individualized Education Program (IEP) supports children three and older through the public school system. An IEP outlines specialized instruction and accommodations tailored to your child’s needs.
Yes. Keeping your child’s teacher informed about any diagnosis allows them to adjust their teaching and communication style, and to build lesson plans that better support your child’s specific needs in the classroom.
Teacher appreciation doesn’t have to wait for a special occasion. A thank-you note after a productive meeting, or simply acknowledging a teacher’s observations as valuable as a specialist’s, goes a long way in strengthening the partnership that helps your child succeed.
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